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Hello everyone, this is your host, Jaime Buckley, and this is Life of Fiction, Episode #6…..
How are you doing with your own creative projects?
Are you experiencing the success you’ve been wanting? The success you’ve been working towards?
I don’t know if it’s something in the water, the air, or if the choices of our leaders, wherever you may live are making the same stupid choices, but something is affecting all of us. Maybe I’m having a hard time because of my OWN stupid choices!?
Maybe.
The point is, though, I want to achieve certain things, and there are certain days where it seems anything and everything gets in my way. Like the whole Universe is fighting against me, and no matter what I do, I just can’t make progress toward my goals.
When you’re striving to accomplish what I want to do — which is create a successful fantasy series with half a million readers — roadblocks can often feel more like impenetrable walls.
This has been on my mind for quite some time, and I believe I can help you, regardless of what projects or goals you have.
Words Matter, Yes, But So Do Definitions
I want to tweak your brain a little bit today and talk about the differences between problems and challenges.
For years I studied what I’ll call conflict resolution.
Violence was a regular part of my life, and I was concerned now that I was a husband and father. So I sought instruction.
My focus for several years was learning how to go home at night, no matter what—and during those years of intense instruction, I found myself dealing with serious mental blocks. What’s important to understand is that mental blocks in this aspect of life can and will get you killed.
Violent people have a way of making timid brains go to mush.
They intimidate us, our minds start firing all sorts of warning signals…and just like intense ‘problems’, knock the wind out of us (and our sails) and we sink.
During one of my training sessions, I was forced to engage a Samoan man in class (an awesome, yet disturbingly intense individual). If you’ve never dealt with 300 pounds of muscle, ‘intimidating’ doesn’t begin to describe the experience.
I found myself repeatedly on the floor, staring at the ceiling.
Over and over again I applied myself and what I had been taught, but it was no use. There was something about this persons’ very presence that defied (and even mocked) my determination to defend myself.
My teacher stopped me and asked me to imagine something.
He told me to view this handsome young man with a huge scar down one cheek, a piece missing from his ear, and a huge bump on his face from a repeatedly broken nose.
Funny thing was, it wasn’t too far removed from people I knew, so it was easy to visualize.
Once more I engaged my Samoan partner on the mat and got walloped. This time I ended up on my back—wind knocked from my lungs.
“You’re still seeing this as a problem and not a challenge,” my teacher told me.
It confused me.
"No matter what I imagine, he’s still huge and strong and...." I started to complain, but my teacher cut me off.
"I want you to truly visualize the scars on his face. Then I want you to ponder what that actually means. Think about this. Someone didn’t let him walk all over them! Somewhere in this thugs past, someone decided to dish it right back and he has to live with those scars. Someone, Jaime, refused to buckle. So...why should you?”
Huh.
I’d never thought of that before.
Knowing he wasn’t some invulnerable monster made this threat more manageable. My survival jumped from ‘possible’ to probable.
Less that two minutes later, my Samoan partner was on his back and laughing. The rest of the class was spent giving a receiving blows as equal threats.
Now, how does this help you and me when it comes to goals?
It’s A Mind Set.
Words are signals to our brains. We send completely different signals, based on what words we use.
PROBLEM identifies a struggle—to either gain or reclaim ground. There is no power in this to feed our determination or confidence level. This word also puts us in a victim mentality…and the worst thing you can do to yourself in life is label yourself as a victim.
To be cast about by the will of others? No thanks.
CHALLENGE, on the other hand, is a positive word—letting your mind know there is an adventure taking place and something to be learned. This word gives us a chance to demonstrate our resolve, skills and integrity. As I mentioned before, ‘challenge’ shifts the impossible to possible, and from possible to probable.
Regardless of the words used, we will have these events in our lives—but how we perceive them will determine how we can meet and overcome what opposes us.
THAT is what matters.
The right words can help empower us to do...anything.
Just wanted to share that with you.
…I’ll see you next time.
Episode #6: Change Your Words To Change Your Success