You don’t survive the Trench by being the strongest.
You survive it by building something stronger than fear.
Right, pull up a chair (preferably one that doesn’t hum when you sit on it), and let’s recap the episode the Guild warned me not to publish.
In Episode 60 of Life of Fiction – the Podcast, I shared some of my deeply investigative—and probably indictable—observations on Trench Wars, pulled directly from my experience following Alhannah Luckyfeller through the dusty gears and deadly glory of the Games.
You see, Trench Wars isn’t a sport.
It’s a ritual.
It’s defiance wrapped in brass and battle muffins.
🔧 What Did We Learn?
The Trench is older than its brackets. It started with desperation and mech-building rebellion by two dirt-poor brothers who just wanted to help their dad. Now it’s a cultural pressure valve disguised as entertainment.
The Trench Brothers were legends before they were outlaws. Burton and Ernie built the first functional scrap mech and punched injustice square in the badge.
Betting scandals are real. People are gambling with gearboxes, favors, and one notable instance… a canoe. I have questions.
Sponsors are scary. They don’t just fund pilots—they own them. Contracts include wardrobe clauses, jellybean rituals, and in one case, a cockpit compliance rune that smells like wet mushroom loaf if you disobey orders. (Alhannah refused to confirm this, which means it’s true.)
The Forked Helm is real. No records. No rosters. No expressions. Six years, six wins, six vanishings. And now their symbol is scratched under my desk. Which I did not buy on the island.
🧠 Things I May Be Investigating (but officially deny):
Secret mech parts hidden in bakery supply trucks
A referee who may or may not be four raccoons in a trench coat
Whether Alhannah is smuggling schematic blueprints inside her socks (plausible)
🔧 Takeaway?
You think Trench Wars is just gear and sparks?
It's a living myth in progress, and the only way to understand it… is to get grease on your soul.
This was Episode 60.
More to reveal. More to come.
—Höbin Luckyfeller
Gnome Historian | Podcast Host | Probably Being Watched
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Let us know what you thought of the podcast, or if you have any questions, make sure to leave them in the comments or email podcast@lifeoffiction.com.
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