"The patriarch in our family was an alcoholic, abusive to the matriarch, and that pain spilled into their children through violence, neglect, and addiction. That same pain seeped into the grandchildren—us. Our family was doomed from generations past."
"The patriarch in our family was an alcoholic, abusive to the matriarch, and that pain spilled into their children through violence, neglect, and addiction. That same pain seeped into the grandchildren—us. Our family was doomed from generations past."
Always hurts to hear that. I hear it often.
I had and have a wonderful example in my father. I learned to love my wife with all my soul from watching my dad love my mom. To hear my mothers sweet praise and adoration of my dad cemented my respect for my father.
When I feared or doubted, because life got 'hard' for our family, my mom would smile...that perfect...kind...infinite smile only a mom and loving wife can produce.
"It will be okay, sweetie. Your father can do ANYthing. If he sets his mind to it, it will happen. God is with him."
God is with him?
How often do you hear that?
Gosh I miss my mom.
Still trying to become HALF of what I see my father as...and I'll keep striving...but one thing that has been lacking, IMO, from lives is truth.
Truth is more important than anything else...and it's the foundation of my own family. You do what is right, beCAUSE IT IS RIGHT. Not because it's easy, convenient, or because you're seen, get credit, you are agreed with or even loved.
You do it, because it's the right thing to do.
Let the rest happen.
That, I believe, builds the character for all else to flow.
You will 'win' the hearts and confidence of those around you when they know your character will always turn to do what is right. Then let your love shine through that truth and extend the hand of true friendship...and you can save the world.
I can feel the deep respect and love you have for your parents in every line of your description of them. The image of your mother’s smile and her unwavering faith in your father is so powerful—it’s a kind of love and trust that feels sacred, almost untouchable. Something I wished would have existed in my relationships. I wish I would have had the kind of trust in a partner that could have led our family so that I could stand strong in my role as a mother and wife without having to do both.
I learned to be the leader, provider, and protector while also being the supporter, nurturer, and multiplier. It was a replication of the generation before me. We do what we were taught, and even when we logically talk ourselves out of repeating those patterns, subconsciously we gravitate toward what feels familiar. Change requires deep uprooting of faulty beliefs and a willingness to face the uncomfortable truths within ourselves.
Your father sounds like an incredible man—someone who not only carried the weight of responsibility but did it with faith and integrity. And from what I’ve seen in your words and actions, you’re walking that same path. You’ve taken the lessons he passed down and are living them out with the same strength and honor.
I deeply admire your commitment to truth. You’re absolutely right—it’s the foundation of everything. Doing what’s right, not because it’s easy or because anyone’s watching, but simply because it’s right. That’s something I’ve instilled in my own children as well. Integrity and truth are, in my eyes, the most important and fundamental qualities a person can have. They’re not always easy to live out, and they’re rarely convenient, but they’re what build character, confidence, and genuine love and respect from those around you.
Your belief that love, truth, and integrity can ‘save the world’ isn’t crazy—it’s rare and beautiful. It’s what I hold dear to my heart and value most. If more people held onto that conviction, imagine how different things would be in this world.
Oh, and my humble opinion may not carry much weight, but I think you’re doing an incredible job at carrying your father’s legacy forward. 😉
"The patriarch in our family was an alcoholic, abusive to the matriarch, and that pain spilled into their children through violence, neglect, and addiction. That same pain seeped into the grandchildren—us. Our family was doomed from generations past."
Always hurts to hear that. I hear it often.
I had and have a wonderful example in my father. I learned to love my wife with all my soul from watching my dad love my mom. To hear my mothers sweet praise and adoration of my dad cemented my respect for my father.
When I feared or doubted, because life got 'hard' for our family, my mom would smile...that perfect...kind...infinite smile only a mom and loving wife can produce.
"It will be okay, sweetie. Your father can do ANYthing. If he sets his mind to it, it will happen. God is with him."
God is with him?
How often do you hear that?
Gosh I miss my mom.
Still trying to become HALF of what I see my father as...and I'll keep striving...but one thing that has been lacking, IMO, from lives is truth.
Truth is more important than anything else...and it's the foundation of my own family. You do what is right, beCAUSE IT IS RIGHT. Not because it's easy, convenient, or because you're seen, get credit, you are agreed with or even loved.
You do it, because it's the right thing to do.
Let the rest happen.
That, I believe, builds the character for all else to flow.
You will 'win' the hearts and confidence of those around you when they know your character will always turn to do what is right. Then let your love shine through that truth and extend the hand of true friendship...and you can save the world.
Crazy, maybe.
...but I'd like to try anyway.
I can feel the deep respect and love you have for your parents in every line of your description of them. The image of your mother’s smile and her unwavering faith in your father is so powerful—it’s a kind of love and trust that feels sacred, almost untouchable. Something I wished would have existed in my relationships. I wish I would have had the kind of trust in a partner that could have led our family so that I could stand strong in my role as a mother and wife without having to do both.
I learned to be the leader, provider, and protector while also being the supporter, nurturer, and multiplier. It was a replication of the generation before me. We do what we were taught, and even when we logically talk ourselves out of repeating those patterns, subconsciously we gravitate toward what feels familiar. Change requires deep uprooting of faulty beliefs and a willingness to face the uncomfortable truths within ourselves.
Your father sounds like an incredible man—someone who not only carried the weight of responsibility but did it with faith and integrity. And from what I’ve seen in your words and actions, you’re walking that same path. You’ve taken the lessons he passed down and are living them out with the same strength and honor.
I deeply admire your commitment to truth. You’re absolutely right—it’s the foundation of everything. Doing what’s right, not because it’s easy or because anyone’s watching, but simply because it’s right. That’s something I’ve instilled in my own children as well. Integrity and truth are, in my eyes, the most important and fundamental qualities a person can have. They’re not always easy to live out, and they’re rarely convenient, but they’re what build character, confidence, and genuine love and respect from those around you.
Your belief that love, truth, and integrity can ‘save the world’ isn’t crazy—it’s rare and beautiful. It’s what I hold dear to my heart and value most. If more people held onto that conviction, imagine how different things would be in this world.
Oh, and my humble opinion may not carry much weight, but I think you’re doing an incredible job at carrying your father’s legacy forward. 😉
I think that's yet another reason we are kindred, dear one.
...and as long as you are alive, there is time to find or to be found by such a companion.
Just my belief, but it is a conviction.