18. Return of the King

The gnome whispered between muffled giggling. “Your shirt’s making googly-eyes at the brunette.”

When the Gem awakens to call a Hero, the world is ill prepared...and its fate is placed in the hands of a 17 year old boy, named Wendell. 

Some will say this is nothing but a tale of fiction.
Let them think as they may. 

After all...I can't fix stupid.

Previously: Wendell and party secure the party by engaging in combat, unfortunately with Chuck as bait. It quickly becomes apparent that Wendell underestimated the fighting prowess of his companions.

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"How many books DID you bring, Chuck?" I asked. Book after book, minute after minute, the old wizard pulled materials from the small hip bag he’d hidden in his hat. Scrolls, notebooks and quills, ink and charcoal pencils, study guides and massive tombs. Chuck had everything from world history to magical lore and a dozen or more bestiaries, alphabetized.

A few books slid from the awkward pile, teetering on the stones in front of me.

"Well, not all of them, obviously." He stopped and scratched his head. "I didn’t want to overwhelm you, son."

"You brought half the library," I said. "Will I even have the time to study all that out here? We are in the middle of a forest, Chuck."

He frowned at me. "You just remember that all this…," he waved his hands around him, "is the distraction, not your studies." Chuck pulled three more books out, set them gingerly at the top of the pile and nodded in satisfaction. "Half the library? I think not. Not your library, anyway."

"Wait. My library?" I snorted. "I have a library? As in…an actual place with hundreds of books?"

Chuck’s face crinkled up as he shook his head. "Closer to hundreds of thousands of books. Which is why it’s been called ‘The Great Library’ for…hundreds of years."

"Thousands of years," Dax hollered from the campfire.

"That’s what I said, monkey," Chuck hollered back.

"No, ya didn’t."

"Point is, you have access to every book ever written in that library, son. From what I remember, it’s quite the collection." Chuck smiled at me and tapped his nose with a finger.

My own library? I mean, I loved books, but this… "Wait, if I have access to every book written, Chuck, then why did you bother buying these?"

"Ah. Well."

"Just tell him," hollered Dax.

"I’m gettin’ to it!"

"No, yer not."

I bit my lip and stifled a laugh. 

The wizard lightly bounced in place. I noticed he did that when searching for the right words. "I don’t exactly…have access to the Great Library. It an exclusive place for the hero, and outsiders can only enter when invited."

"But you’re the steward, aren’t you?"

Chuck nodded.

"Then didn’t you get permission to enter the library, from the last hero?"

"Oh, I did. I DO have permission," he said earnestly.

"Then why can’t you…"

"TELL HIM," Dax snapped.

Chuck sighed. "I…forgot where it is."

"The library?" I said.

"Phhh, no," Chuck snorted. "That would be stupid. Of COURSE I know where the library is."

"He doesn’t know where the DOOR to the library is," Dax said. 

The wizard blushed and shrugged. "It’s a really, really big place, son."

"The library?" I asked.

"The cottage," Chuck moaned. "Once I went looking for a vending machine I’d seen in passing and got lost. It’s been decades since I’d had a Whatchamacallit, so I tried going back after dinner that night."

I blinked. "You…got lost…in the cottage?"

"For three WEEKS!" Chuck shuttered. "I had to suffer though manicures and Mediterranean food at this lovely little family restaurant  until Jeb found me." He shrugged. "A man can only eat pasta and olives for so long. I tried to use the salad as bait for REAL food, but cows and deer don’t normally roam the cottage."

"Uhhh," I said, not sure how to react. "Did you find the vending machine with the Whatchamacallit?"

He shook his head. "Found a Pez dispenser, though. Almost as good. Got an Ultraman head." He grinned to himself. "Loved that show."