It’s going to be hard if it’s right.
What if there was another option for publications? A way to provide all the things I’ve promised you, but we had to sidestep and provide them through a few more steps?
Paid subscribers can comment, access the archive of this site, along with other stories, art, and any article I’ve ever written. If you aren’t a paid subscriber, you can access the archive for free with a 7-day trial OR earn a paid membership by joining the referral program! Contact me if you need our ‘hardship scholarships’ — used for military, first responders, homeschoolers and those in countries with horrible exchange rates — we have a deeeep discount for you.
I wanted to get another post in before the internet (might be) turned off.
Oh, and don’t stress…I have this week already scheduled and set up. The internet issue will get fixed before Morning Coffee next week.
Promise.
It’s important for me to encourage you to keep fighting, no matter what.
No promo bull or fluff, just straight up from me to you. I want to expose a bit of my life and show you what you may, and I repeat ‘may‘, have to endure to make your goals/dreams happen. People will probably ridicule me for this, but that's fine... it won't be the first time, and I'm certain it won't be the last.
I’m doing this because something tells me there’s a heart out there that needs to know someone understands what they’re going through.
Here it goes
Most people think I’m crazy. I can understand that. It’s uncomfortable for some people to look at what I’m doing. I believe that it’s mostly because they wouldn’t dare try what I do. Most don’t have the gumption, so it’s easy for others to point a finger. Let them.
For me, the biggest hardships are putting those I love through ANY discomfort or pain because of my focus and goals.
I have been married to my best friend for nearly 33 years now (we celebrated our 34th anniversary of meeting, last Sunday). She’s the best part of life and from the moment we were married, she’s had to strap in and hang on during the roller coaster ride. Why? Because I told her before we married I knew, not believed, but knew what I was supposed to do with my life.
Before we tied the knot, I provided full-disclosure and pleaded with her. “If you don’t want to go through this, can’t handle the possibilities, or think after we’re married you’ll be able to change me, please don’t marry me.”
She chose a life with me, and I have adored her every moment since.
Life at first it was…uncomfortable. Then it became painful. Then it took our breath away. Then it made us cry. Oh, we have happiness, joy, even moments of bliss as well, but life is hard.
We both know that.
At one point, I found myself alone in a room during the deepest depression imaginable...pulling back the hammer of a gun I had placed in my mouth.
I’m telling you here and now, that God Himself provided a miracle which preserved my life. I’ve tried to serve Him ever since, in part because He saved me from my stupid.
TIP: Don’t solve a temporary problem with a permanent solution.
Yet through all these trials, a voice said to keep going and I would have a dream of what I was supposed to do next.
Time rolled forward, and we had some amazing times and considerable prosperity. Yet it always came back to Wanted Hero and working with youth. Youth out in the world. Kids that needed to know their potential. To hold onto that burning desire to reach down and lift them up. A desire emanating from a voice in my heart, talking louder than all the music, all the movies, and all the conflicts of my life. A voice that tells me to reach out to that lost soul...and tell them they are NOT alone. They are NOT worthless.
To tell them they MATTER.
That’s my purpose and my passion, and all I want to do is to inspire the youth of the world or die trying.
Seriously, that’s all.
Just save everyone — then I’m done.
The trouble is — as much as I want to accomplish this — there’s always a force equally determined to stop me from accomplishing it.
Never ending pushback.
If you hope to do something that will help another or improve the world around you in ANY way...be ready for a fight. The bigger the goal, the bigger the fight.
Expect it.
The things that come at us from this world are big, mean, and don’t have proper jobs, so they have too much time on their hands to make mischief for you.
That’s alright. You were created to succeed, not to fail.
You’re bigger, better, stronger, and more resourceful than you may believe at this moment. Stay focused on your goals and put one foot ahead of the other.
If you believe in God, pray.
Where I am Right Now
I don’t know what’s going to happen next in life, but I’m excited!
Kathilynn and I work day and night to maintain our home, love and teach our children, try to serve our community, while I continue writing. In addition, I’m learning to do everything solo, organizing scripts for audio books, podcasts, creating covers and cross linking all the works, so every story enhances one another. As the publishing landscape continues to change, the large publishing platforms seem to take more and more of the profits while giving less.
They know the indie authors of the world have limited choices. They know indie authors have gone along with the changes. Like lobsters in a simmering pot, we wait until it’s too late and we become too weak to climb out. If we want any money at all, we will comply and accept the pennies they give us.
But that’s just it. I’m not a lobster.
I’m also not a sheep.
…more like a sheepdog.
What if there was another option? A way to provide all the things I’ve promised you, but we had to sidestep and provide them through a few more steps?
Digital books would be easy enough — I have platforms to get you books in any format you want or need.
If I have anything to say about it, I will make sure that audiobooks are not put on Audible again. Find-A-Way Voices used to be my go-to, but they sold out to Spotify and gave up. Our David vs Goliath is now a chump and following the same patterns as Amazon and Apple.
My answer? Soundwise. This platform allows an indie author to create, post, control, and sell their own audiobooks. I’ve done it with two previous projects and it works like a dream. The app for listening on your phone or computer is gorgeous. Top quality for my listeners, and I can make all the profit, minus processing fees.
Amazon gets zero. I like how that sounds. “Amazon gets ZERO.”
Makes me smile.
Indie authors are forced to use Amazon KDP or Ingram Spark for their paperback and hardback options, making print books a whole new issue. That’s what I use presently and have for years. Those options don’t always allow for sales around the globe. Most people don’t know that Amazon, with their business model, is not allowed in some countries.
What if you could change all that and sell both paperback AND hardback from your own site, OR links you embed…wherever? Can stay in your little corner of the web, write your stories, and the rest of the big corporations can pound sand, including Google? You write stories for readers and send your books to any corner of the world!
Vervante not only prints the highest quality paperbacks I’ve ever seen, they do hardbacks, specialty books, warehouse extras I might want to include for you, and drop ship to anywhere on the planet. Best of all, I found out the factory is less than 20 minutes FROM MY HOUSE!
No joke.
How’s THAT for a miracle, eh?
Why am I telling you all this?
I’m letting you that I have a plan.
Changes are coming to the publishing world.
Bad ones, IMO.
These changes will affect readers, yes, but they will devastate and cripple many authors — especially those who don’t have an established fan base — or another set of options free of the corporate giants’ control.
The last thing I want is to get caught yet again with my pants down. I hate paying for people’s therapy.
You know I don’t play on social media. I don’t do clickbait. Even Brandon Sanderson said on a YouTube video with Daniel Greene that it’s no use to advertise your books anymore, because it just doesn’t work. I learned that years ago.
Google is NOT a search engine. Google is an advertising company. Amazon is their #1 client. Is this an accident? Of course not. Oh, and by the way, with the way things are going, Amazon had already expected its net digital ad revenues alone to reach a whopping USD 39.45 billion by last year.
This means changes on MY part must happen.
That’s why today’s article is about full transparency of what I am doing and why, because we’re friends.
I hope to give you the very best stories, in all its formats, without being hindered by whatever Amazon, Audible, Google or any other greedy enterprise does.
The Reality of My World
As a freelance illustrator, I’m used to having 1-2 full-time jobs a month from clients. With a large family and medical bills constantly mounting, it has been enough to stay in doors and put food on the table.
I have not had a full illustration gig since May 2022. The last job to pay the bills was for Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs) and his mom, New York Times Bestselling Author Peggy Rowe. I was hired to help design and draw the cover for her book, ‘Vacuuming in the Nude, and other ways to get attention.’
The job paid little, but Mike invited me to be on his podcast. This was to help his mom promote the book, and Mike was going to plug Wanted Hero. It could have been that big break I’d been hoping for over the last 15+ years.
Peggy hit the bestseller’s list so fast, there was no need to have me on the podcast. Totally understandable.
It reminded me, yet again, that things don’t always work out the way you hope they will. So you pivot, make adjustments, and move on to the next opportunity. On the flip side, we’d spent almost $5000 to buy a new server and redid my website. The last guest on Mike’s podcast had his site crashed by Mike’s fans. Since I had many books, we tried to prepare and took a leap of faith.
Sadly, it ended up being wasted money.
How we’ve made it this far is a complete miracle. 100% grace of God, and I mean that literally. We live moment to moment right now. That’s where many think I’m crazy for not having a day job to support my family. What they don’t realize is that I jump at all possibilities for work, shy of a minimum wage job, which wouldn’t help anyone.
Every door I attempted to approach or get through aggressively shut in my face. Yet when my attention turns to doing the stories, the Red Sea parts.
What would you deduce from this?
Yeah, me too.
I doubt I’m the ‘norm’ in shooting for one’s dreams, but…maybe I am. When I wrote my first book, I spent a year turned into a shallow corner, where I pinned up two pictures of the outdoors on cinderblock. I’d put in earplugs and write. I learned how to write while I was sick, in pain, depressed, angry, sad, hungry, cold, and most of all — afraid that today was the day my family would be cast into the street and have to live under a freeway. It’s a fear that still scratches at the back of my mind.
Then I sit down and write.
I think about you, and I smile.
My wife and children give me hugs and kisses and tell me they love me. To keep going. That they believe in me.
…in me.
Just plain ‘ol…me.
Time For Choices
That’s what you might have to go through. To get where you’re supposed to be.
Would you be willing?
To be the one who makes little sense. Willing to accept that pain and anguish and continue to move forward, to get what you want?
Willing to ignore the ‘norm’ and listen to that small voice in your heart to take that next step? It’s what I choose every day, even when it hurts. And it hurts a lot.
Plus, I do all this badly. You see my smiles and laughter, but it may surprise you to know the cost of reaching that point.
I fall on my face a lot.
That’s where family comes in. I hope with all my soul that you have someone, if few people, who love and support you because they know you’re doing the right thing. I cannot express enough love to my wife and children. They know I’m behind that door, crying late at night. The kids have, unfortunately, heard my wife encouraging me to stay the course, regardless of what life does to grind me into dust.
I hope you have someone as amazing as my beloved, in your life, to give you another perspective when you can’t see straight. Fortunately, my family has gained independent testimonies and developed personal determination over the years.
It’s made them unusually strong.
Because of their willingness to give their all, every day, alongside their parents, they have witnessed the near impossible occur weekly in our lives.
See? Crazy. But Crazy can be good.
I asked my family this morning how they all felt. I asked if there was anything they wanted to say about where we are here and now.
“We feel more excited and sure than ever. If we have to go through this, so long as we can do it together, it’s worth it.”
That, my friend, is why I brag about my family with every breath.
Don’t give up.
Just know you may have to go through challenges equal to the blessings you’re hoping for.
God Bless.
Leave a comment. If you have anything you can add to this — a perspective or even a personal experience, I sure would appreciate it and I know there are others who would too.
Paid subscribers can comment, access the archive of this site, along with other stories, art, and any article I’ve ever written. If you aren’t a paid subscriber, you can access the archive for free with a 7-day trial OR earn a paid membership by joining the referral program! Contact me if you need our ‘hardship scholarships’ — used for military, first responders, homeschoolers and those in countries with horrible exchange rates — we have a deeeep discount for you.
Thanks for sharing. God bless you and your family always. Everyone is going through a lot but it's amazing that you have a beautiful spouse, wonderful family, and lovely friends to help you get through it.
Personally, I have my parents, siblings, and God. I don't take them for granted one bit, but I pray for more. I've been praying for years though sometimes it seems selfish. Maybe it isn't meant. I just try to keep praying and keep going.
Getting laid off tomorrow. Last time this happened, I tried to see if I could survive from freelance and entrepreneurial efforts alone. Unfortunately, wasn't enough. It's a blessing you're able to support yourself and your very large family from your works! I know it's a challenge, but that amazes me and I'm happy you can afford to do that.
It seems I have to work 25/8/367 (what I mean is more than 24/7/365, in case that annoying joke of mine went over any heads 😝). I've been told I need to take better care of myself but it's such a challenge. It seems impossible. So I just keep working and doing stuff and living off not-enough food and sleep.
I honestly don't know what's going to happen next month with my mortgage, bills, anything. I've been applying everywhere and getting nowhere. Nobody wants to hire me without a degree. I'm going to try to get a certification or license or something to do something. Just trying to keep praying and keep going. Please keep me in your prayers.
Much love. 🙏
When I started my business, I needed a contract that would be the heart of it. I went to a respected attorney who called and said he wouldn't write it. I'd never make any money. I didn't know what I was doing.
So I found another attorney. This man was well advanced in years and knew the industry and people. He smiled at what I wanted to do. "This is a passion project," he said. Yes! And so he helped me.
I haven't gotten rich, but I've learned a ton and helped a bunch of folks and love every day.
It is hard! But worth it.
I'm cheering for you. And my first order from Vervante is in the mail.