Is there a place with TGII for someone like me?
With my profession, I still call out to those rough parts of me. Strategically leaving the key under the rug outside the back door of my mind and heart, so portions of my past can resurface...
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It's been on my mind a great deal of late and I have to admit, I'm feeling very low. No matter how I look at my life, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not sure the afterlife people talk about has a place for someone like me.
An exiled gnome fishes, obsessed with uncovering truth, but questionable morals and practices to achieve the end results. A distant father who wasn’t able to keep his children close when he lost his beloved wife.
All of my life I've tried to fit in. Yes, I realize it may not look that way, as outspoken as I tend to be, but I’ve tried to be the best person I know how to be — with one, seemingly simple desire: to become a good, decent gnome.
While those around me strive to become 'Saints' or godly individuals, I've never been under the illusion that I could attain such lofty goals. No. Too many people have insisted that I was not of the character to achieve such things. My heart has always focused on being more than I am right now. To improve upon what I have and who I've become with each day TGII gives me.
Truth be told...I've come far. Drinking and drugs, anger and violence are all part of a past that has, at most, only a faint echo of ever existing.
Alright,…except the drinking.
I’ll CONSIDER stopping…once Wood ceases serving Blackseed Rum at the Roadkill Tavern.
Oh, I have many shortcomings to deal with, but I work on them at every turn.
With my profession, I still call out to those rough parts of me. Strategically leaving the key under the rug outside the back door of my mind and heart, so portions of my past can resurface and more easily deal with the injustices of the world. The stoic parts of my soul, willing to stand guard over those I hold dear — to shield my friends and take the blows I'm already accustomed to taking — so they don't have to.
When the smoke clears and the wounds are bound, I thank that darker side and lock the door once more.
With all my heart I have wanted to raise a better generation.
Better than me, to be specific.
To inspire children to think and question and challenge and know, not only their place, but their worth. Children who will lift up and protect, encourage and love, so that others — who may not have that same upbringing — will feel the courage to step out into the light themselves.
To raise a generation who not only love TGII, but love one another, regardless of the path one has had to walk. Regardless of how so many suffer the conflicting choices of the now of today, and to cease condemning another for when they have fallen.
But it's unlikely I will ever be one who works in the Temple or holds some lofty position. No. That's not where my heart is.
All I want, is to be among the people. To strengthen and do good where good can be done. To tell the truth when the world is supported by lies and to be that friend that didn't exist before. To see that people are fed and clothed and cared for...so they know that TGII remembers them, thinks about them...and loves them.
To be with my family forever among the Celestial Gears of the Universe.
I think my concern over whether there is a place with TGII for someone like me, is that my life is not a 'To Do' list. Go on a service mission, get married, have children, build a career, go to my meetings, and on, and on, and on....
It has always been my belief that gnomes are not always meant for the molds made by our kind. That I must restrict myself because of the lack of imagination and courage of another.
My life is about who I want to be. Every moment of every day, with every soul I am fortunate enough to meet. Regardless of their race, their beliefs, their magical associations, and to spend a portion of my limited time with them.
Will there be a place in the afterlife for someone like me?
I don't know. ...but I'll continue to hope.
Höbin
Q: Am I just insane, or do you believe there is a place for a gnome like me in good society?
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There's a belief among the human race that says you may know what a person is like by their 'fruits'.
I watch you, my friend, and I see so much goodness that comes from your efforts. Look at your children. Alhannah and Green are two of the choicest gnomes I've ever met.
Look at how many lives you've touched from the sacrifices and publication of Demoni Vankil, or the positive influence you've had on those who watched your mock trial and exile from Clockworks City. Millions cheered when you refused to redact your findings, even though the FAF succumbed to political pressure. You have become a catalyst for good, Höbin.
These are acts of a good gnome, a good person, and good soul, IMO.
There is always a place in a good society for and honest individual willing to fight for truth.
I think the world is much better with you in it, Höbin. Society that doesn't accept you isn't worth being part of.