I miss you, Mom.

Today is the 20th anniversary of the accident that took the lives of my beloved mother and infant niece.

Me and my mommy.

This is me,…with my beautiful mother.

I miss my mom. More than you might understand.

Then again, if you’ve lost your mother, you may know what I mean.

20 years ago, my mother was on a road trip with my little sister, and her twin daughters, only three weeks from their first birthday.

Mom fell asleep at the wheel.

For more information of that even and how it’s affected me, my family, and the creation of WantedHero….and Life Of Fiction, read:

How to Succeed at Fiction By Failing: Part Two

Today Marks 20 Years of Pain and Loss

There are many ways to look at losing a loved one.

There are many ways to cope…to deal with that hole in your heart that cannot be filled by another, because your loved one owns that portion of your heart.

That’s okay. You’ll survive.

Probably.

…possibly.

I hope.

For me, I usually do fine, until I’m reminded.

The intentions are kind. I truly believe that. But for me, this is about moving on and holding only the fondest of memories, the best of stories, and sharing that with my children. With my grandchildren.

Back when I only had six siblings.

My mother…is the best of women.

My personal belief, which I hold as real as the beat of my own heart, is that God never made a better woman than my mother.

He made equals, to be sure,…but never better.

She was kind, patient, soft spoken, never spoke ill of others, and chastened me greatly if I did. She encouraged my talents, pointed out the beautiful talents in others, and always….always…gave me hope.

My beloved mother was an anchor in my life, and tried to teach me how to see the best in others. To forgive quickly (and always), while standing up for what was right, at all times, in all places.

But you know what I loved most about my mother?

I have two favorite things.

• She loved God and Jesus Christ so deeply, so quietly, I could feel it from head to toe when she spoke of them, and;

• …she adored my father. There was a belief in her, centered upon the potential of my father, powered by her love, that she told me on more than one occasion, “I believe your father can do anything, if he has a mind to do it.”

I adopted that same love and adoration for my father, which still beats in my heart to this day.

20 Things I Remember About Mom

To lighten this 20 year mark, I wanted to try and remember some of the best personal things I experienced or know about my mother. I’m also making this post open to the public, because I’d love to hear from those who knew her. To read YOUR positive experiences with Rosina Lee Buckley.

Here we go.

1. She had me first. I’m grateful my mom had me first, not because I’m any better than any of my siblings…because I’m not. Now that I’m 54 years old, I think I was born first because I’m the weakest of my siblings. If you met any of my brothers or sisters, you’d see how ridiculously amazing they all are. I needed more time to be trained by this saintly woman,…so I could survive.

2. She took us kids to Golden Gate Skating every Tuesday. That was back when Jonboy (not real name) was still in a crib. We kids would skate with mom, while the employees (usually the ‘candy girls’ behind the counter) would watch the baby.

3. She read us “The Hobbit” every year. Mom loved reading Tolkien, as did dad, and knew more about that fictional world than anyone I’ve met.

4. She would watch Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, and then The Wonderful World of Disney with us every Sunday evening. That was our family snuggle TV time once a week.

5. Mom watched the original “Flash” TV show with me - 1990-1991.

6. Mom watched the original Dr Strange TV show with me - 1978.

7. Mom shared my love for Elfquest when I was a kid (1980-1986).

8. Mom taught me, and all my siblings how to ‘properly’ TP a house. Not revealing any more details than that. =)

9. Mom (and Dad) used to go on double dates with me. I know, I know, weird, right? Not really. My parents were so cool and fun to be with, my dates and girlfriends only had to go out once with my parents, and they were hooked. In fact, for my girlfriend’s 16th birthday (Cologne Hoffman), we went to Tahoe to a dinner show to see Sammy Davis Jr. (one of her favorite singers). We had front table center, about 15’ from his performance!

10. Mom could laugh like a witch and on halloween, would sit on the porch and pretend to be a stuffed mannequin. When kids got closer, shed cackle and make ‘em shriek.

11. Mom had a passion and appreciation for popcorn. This passion has been passed down through kids and grandkids. We buy 50lb bags at a time, and have perfected making it just like the theaters in the 50’s. Want the perfect popcorn eating experience? Try using “FLAVICOL”…you’ll never eat it another way. YUM.

12. Mom always said, “Why ruin cake batter by cooking it?” Yup, she would make cake batter and we would share the bowl over a movie.

13. Mom and I shared the same favorite pudding. Butterscotch. Nuff said.

14. Mom had a gift for poetry. I’m not a fan of poetry, yet she wrote things that moved even me. In fact, she gave my grandfather 5000 poems that he put into our church’s archives.

15. Mom was an advocate for happiness. “I don’t want to wait to be happy,” she would tell me. “I choose to be happy now, while I’m living life AND in the afterlife. I’d suggest you choose the same.”

16. Mom convinced me that nothing was impossible. My brother and I were placed in a special program in high school, if I remember correctly, because we were allergic to a chemical in the paint used. This program was originally created for advanced students, so the teacher…’Pat’…taught us how to learn. Mom said I could finish school at my own speed….so I did. It took roughly 5 months to complete high school, with a 4.0 and a scholarship to college.

17. All MY friends called her ‘Mom’. She was there for all kids. All the time. My friends loved her because she listened, she was cool, and no,…she was never a pushover.

18. Mom was known as the station wagon drag-race queen. To teach disrespectful teens a lesson, she’d race the wealthy kid in our area in the family station wagon…and dust ‘em. I often rode in the very back, pointing and laughing at the screaming teens losing the race. Especially when they got pulled over by the cops.

19. Mom took me to the original showing of ‘The Dark Crystal’, and bought me the movie graphic novel…AND a new pad and pencils…so I could draw the characters during the movie.

20. My mom was a hula instructor, and could shake her hips like no white woman you’d ever seen.

I Miss You, Mom

I know this is a break in the process here at Life of Fiction, but my mother was at the core of my fictional growth, my inspiration while she lived, and a person I wanted to emulate.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for my mother, Life of Fiction wouldn’t exist.

Today is dedicated to Rosina Lee Buckley.

My mother.