An Important Message from our Executive Marketing Director, DEATH

Offering a fresh batch of 'refurbished' politician soulless-souls.

Tired of people rubbing success in your face?

Can't seem to get the last word?

Mother-in-law still calling you a loser?

People knocking you 'cause…you're homeschooled?

WELL I GOT YER BACK!

Hello, my name is Death. 

Maybe you've heard of me. 

When I'm not helping mortals onto their next form of existence, I'm the Executive Marketing Director for BuyImmortality.com. 

Look, I know it's hard to associate with stupid people. But like my good friend Chuck always says, "You can't fix stupid." Which means losing your temper and clubbing your neighbor when no one's looking, or trying to clip them with the minivan is equally stupid. 

Don't get mad--get EVEN! 

You need shock 'n awe!! Noooo, not by tasering someone, silly, (though that CAN be some semi-fatal fun)...I'm talking about slapping people in the face with your new-found IMMORTALITY!! 

THINK ABOUT IT

How many people do YOU know, who can say "I inspired a famous character in a fantasy series!"

Not many, I'd wager. Which means the next time some Tom, Dick, or Buford tries to make you look inferior in front of Brenda over at the Hot Wax Car Wash, you can smile and say... 

"Did you know I'm revered across two continents and have a shrine built in my honor?"

 HAHAHA! Come back from THAT Mr. Khaki Shorts!! BOOyah! 

For just a few coin, you could live forever...but for a few MORE you could own a tavern, become a hero, a legend, or grab hold of the ultimate bragging rights...and have your character in a publication. 

Don't wait too long. I could only transfer a handful of souls, so spots are limited.

REMEMBER: Reality's broken...BuyImmortality.com

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