3. Blueberries are evil
All the worst horror movies I’d ever seen flashed through my mind in one continuous panorama of terror, dismemberment, and gore.
When the Gem awakens to call a Hero, the world is ill prepared...and its fate is placed in the hands of a 17 year old boy, named Wendell.
Some will say this is nothing but a tale of fiction.
Let them think as they may.
After all...I can't fix stupid.
Previously: Wendell is kidnapped by Dax and thrown into…nothingness.
Chapter 3
Ever been so terrified of being 40,000 feet in the air that you screamed out in fear from the back of an airplane?
I have. Not recommended.
This was worse.
Imagine, if you will, a rock concert, or maybe a dance where a DJ controlled the music. You’re standing too close to those enormous speakers, because you want to feel the sound. You want to experience the music exploding from those giant black boxes. The thumping beats, intense vibrations all pummel your body, while the music stabs at your eardrums. Teleportation is almost identical, without the sound.
The moment my body passed through the opening, I pulled my arms and legs into my chest and did my best impression of an egg. There was a pulling sensation, yanking me from the brightness of the opening, and then it was gone. Before I could blink, the porch of the Matthew’s home was gone. The surrounding darkness swirled with strands of pale blue light, imitating wisps of smoke. I flinched as I passed through a wisp, and a sudden shock ripped through my body.
Up my spine and arching over my skull, the sensation seized every fiber of muscles and squeezed. My teeth snapped together hard, my jaw clenching so tight, I wondered if my molars would crack. It felt like peeing on a high-voltage electric fence.
Not that I’d ever done that.
Often.
A stabbing chill followed. Painful lines of cold raced through veins, small shards of glass pushing beneath my skin. The pressure moved from my heart, outward towards my hands and feet, then to fingers and toes. It felt like blood was being forced from my body through my limbs, but without an opening to escape. I wanted to scream with the pain, but nothing came out. I couldn’t inhale. The pressure compacted into my fingers and toes, pushing harder and harder. Like icy needles, the sensations stabbed violently at my toes and fingertips repeatedly, wanting to get out. Again I tried to cry out in pain, but a force held my chest in place.
A moment in-between taking and giving a breath.
Vibrations pummeled my bones, the whole of my body compressing, and I drifted away from consciousness. I blinked the wetness from my eyes. Delicate sparkles of purple and pure white mingled with the strands of blue around me.
Then, like being pulled off the roof of a building, I was falling.
My lungs filled with air, and my whole body went limp, exhausted from the constant contraction of my muscles. There was a moment when my mind disengaged from the sensations and wondered. I’m not sure how to describe this, but for a brief breath of time, there was nothing to fear. My brain ignored the sensations I was having and reminded me it was all a dream.
Flashes of rationalization took over in dynamic visuals, performing a live screenplay in front of me. Jeffrey and his goons had pushed me down the ravine, and I saw the act from a third person view. Felt the hands on me. My stomach churned as I tumbled down the leaf-covered hillside. I hit my head against a rock, sliding to a stop at the river’s edge. It’s why I was cold. I’d rolled partially into the stream, the cold sensations in my fingers were hands dipped in the icy stream.
Evan hadn’t actually found me.
Faster and faster I fell through the blackness, and my fingers twitched. Something within me reached out and my arms followed. I grasped at nothing to slow my fall.
There was nothing to hold on to.
BAMPH!
SMACK!
Owwwww.
A residue of that electricity trickled through my body, causing me to twitch. My ears popped. Lifting my head, silver sparks twinkled behind my eyelids and I swooned. I blinked, then forced my eyelids wide. I blinked again. The blackness retreated. Though nothing was clear to me, there were areas in my vision less dark and leaning towards a charcoal grey.
That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever…
Dax landed on my chest.
“Whuuuuu!” I wheezed, all the air punched from my lungs. Thrashing and gasping, I struggled to get the heavy, smelly kidnapper off of me.
“WooHOO! That’s TWO record jumps! I’m raising my prices!!” With a cough, he spat the broken cigar from his mouth and slid from my chest.
My knees folded up to meet my arms wrapped around my gut, and I rolled onto my side, hacking.
“Don’t worry, the pain’ll pass,” he said. “Just gotta acclimatize to the forces of a jump. Happens to everyone their first time.” Dax walked back over to me and leaned down. I flinched as calloused fingers patted my face. His grotesque grin of yellow teeth flashed beneath blue eyes, staring back at me. “Time ta meet the boss.”
With that, he grabbed me by the hair and dragged my flailing body across an uneven stone surface.
“Ow, Ow, OW!” I shouted, grabbing his hand with both of mine to protect my hair from being pulled out. “Let GO,” I screamed, now that I had air. Dax ignored me. Instead, he dragged me past circles of light. I could only face a single direction, but it allowed me to get a faint view of my surroundings. It was a large room. At least I think it was a room. I couldn’t see any windows or furniture. Honestly, I couldn’t see much of anything but stone floors and stone pillars. When I looked up into the circle of light, I caught a flash of an iron sconce gripping a torch.
“You’re hurting me!”
“Baby,” Dax said.
“Bully,” I replied.
“Wuss.”
“Thug.”
“Whiner.”
“MONSTER!”
We paused. Without warning, the fingers interlacing my hair slid down and around my neck.
…and squeezed.
“GAK,” was a stupid sound I always questioned in books and comics. It never seemed real when blurted from the lips of characters. But here I was, being choked by a monster, in the darkness, blurting out the only sound I could make. Just take note it happens when they squeeze, forcing out that last little giblet of air from your throat.
My fingers scratched at the tough hairy flesh of his fingers.
One corner of Dax’s mouth rose in a jagged snarl. “Monster?” He sneered. “I’ll show you a monster.” Fingers released my throat as my captor stepped backwards into the darkness.
I coughed, my hand going to the tender flesh of my neck. My heart pounded in my chest. Dax’s violence felt a bit too real for my taste, and the rest of my body retreated. Legs kicking out, I pushed my butt across the stone until my back slammed against a cold, solid surface behind me. One torch in the distance produced a soft glow of light between us. The effect magnified the depth of the shadows protected by the pillars themselves. I swallowed hard as Dax’s dark skin merged with those shadows, fading from view. The last thing I saw was an angry snarl of teeth. Then he was gone.
Dax’s raspy whisper rose from the shadows like a faint heartbeat. “Let’s see how long you last.”
Then he was gone.
Remember that comment about the universe and me?
That’s it, Wendell. Call the monster a monster and tick it off. WAY TO GO!! Now I was all alone, in the dark, who knows where, and a hungry, angry, green…THING wanted to hurt me. What happened to spending the evening with the girl of my dreams?
“When I said I wanted monsters, it was to scare the girls,” I whispered, “not me.”
The scattered lighting of torches was so far and few in-between the many pillars, they didn’t help much. There was too much area, and when you looked directly at the light, forcing me to squint, you couldn’t see past them. It was a maze of light and shadow that seemed to go on forever. I looked above me and let out a sigh of relief. It was a wall. They ascended up out of view, but the good news was that this room or chamber had an edge. Follow that edge long enough and I’d find a way out of here.
‘Where is here?’ Doubt chimed in.
‘Shut up,’ I responded sharply. ‘You’re the last person I want help from right now. I’m already in this mess. You just point out the obvious, which I can already see.’
‘Fine,’ Doubt sighed. ‘Wake me up when it gets interesting.’
Pushing up to my feet, I kept my back against the wall and slowly looked both directions. Dax had vanished into the shadows in front of me, but I couldn’t hear a thing. There was no flap-flap of Dax’s feet, and I couldn’t smell his particular stench, either. Nothing.
A wave of psychotic paranoia washed over me, and my limbs started shaking.
Perfect timing for the scampering noises off to my right, forcing me to flip around, eyes darting across the darkness. Dax’s voice was faint and echoed off surfaces I couldn’t see.
“Is it…tasty?”
I quickly slid along the wall, away from the sounds. In moments, I gulped as the flapping sounds dashed in an arch around me. I hesitated as the sounds stopped suddenly, near to the direction I was going. Just when I thought I’d scream, I heard…
“Will it be…crunchy?”
“Stop TOYING WITH ME!” I screamed, lunging out and hugging the pillar closest to me. There was no way I wanted that…that thing to get behind me. So I shifting my position, placing the stone between me and my attacker. Then I held my breath and concentrated on listening for any sign of movement.
BAMPH!
A current of air hit my shoulder, and I turned to it.
BAMPH!
The next current came from the opposite direction, the air current hitting the back of my head. I turned to look directly at the location where the sound and vibration had come from. If I just keep facing the sounds, he won’t be able to get behind me. Yeah. Take THAT, sucker!
BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH! BAMPH!
*whimper*
My mind churned through pages of fantasy books and role-playing games I’d consumed over the years. Monster manuals, breeder guides, and even the Generic GM’s Creature Codex. I’d spent an unhealthy amount of time playing those games. It was one of the few things I had in common with other awkward teens. Even Evan would join me from time to time, depending on the game being played. Adults don’t realize the valuable skills a kid can learn to engage in creative thought. Strategizing, that…math stuff, calculating odds, not to mention problem solving. Believe it or not, learning how to get out of a tavern without having your skull cracked open by an ogre could save your life one day. You know, useful things for actual life.
There had to be something in the materials I’d read over the years that could even the odds with Dax. What beings were an average of three feet tall, green, smelled like fish and smoked cigars?
The list wasn’t long. If I were playing Druids and Drunkards, it could be a Daftling or Maobite, but neither smoked cigars.
‘Plus,’ added Doubt, ‘Maobites react to natural sunlight. That monstrosity was practically naked and nabbed you mid-day.’
Noticed that. Not helping.
*sigh*
If I were playing Cinders and Slayers, it might me a Drekk…but they were blue, all female, and had four arms. Dax was definitely male, and the closest I could figure, likely a goblin.
The conclusion wasn’t perfect, but it kinda fit. They were clever, with access to both magic and technology, depending on what gaming system you were referencing. They smoked many things, even tobacco. Smaller bodies, bigger heads, yellow teeth and pointy ears…that was spot on. Goblin it was.
But that just confused me more. Why would a goblin show up and kidnap me?
‘That’s the wrong question,’ Doubt butted in, ‘You should ask yourself…’
“Ah-ah-ah,” I said out loud. “I think this all rides on who this ‘boss’ is that Dax mentioned.”
‘I’ll go back to my room.’
Goblins were clever, but most weren’t very smart. It wasn’t the same thing. That meant they usually worked for someone more intelligent. Someone wiser. But I already knew Dax was transportation to bring me here. He also said his ‘boss’ wanted to see me.
A cold draft raised the hair on my neck, and my gut twisted into knots. You know the feeling you get when something’s seriously wrong and something bad is going to happen? The feeling that makes you look behind you one too many times?
I squatted low and pulled my legs in close. There wasn’t anything I could do, so I hid behind the pillar and waited. Moments passed. Then minutes.
The room was too silent.
A distant sound of water splashing rose to touch the outer rim of my attention. It helped me notice and focus on other sensations. It was chilly, but if I held still, I could feel the air current. It also had a scent of soil and...green? It wasn’t grass, but that scent of the outside after there’s been a strong rain. If I could smell the outside, that meant there was a door or window somewhere.
That meant I could get away.
No, I didn’t know where I was, but escape was at least an option. Escape growing up was always my focus in school. Until I could wake up from this dream quickly becoming a nightmare, options were good. I stood back up. If I was going to make an escape, I have to move as fast as I could once the opportunity presented itself. The pounding beat of my heart grew louder in my throat and ears.
You can do this, Wendell. You’ve escaped bullies before.
‘Yeah, but none of them wanted to eat you.’
Shut UP!
That’s when I noticed my salvation. Roughly fifty feet away, a faint glow called from under a massive slab of wood. The light of a nearby torch had masked it from my notice. There wasn’t much light coming from under the door, which is probably why I’d missed it.
‘Just run for the door, Wendell. One pillar at a time. You can do this, man. This is the way out!’ Doubt chimed.
You’re encouraging me?
‘Hey,’ Doubt said, ‘If you die, I die. I don’t want to die. I don't even want to get mildly hurt. Get us out of here!’
Right.
I rocked back to my feet.
‘Remember all the bullies, Wendell. Didn’t matter who they were. Didn’t matter where you were. You’ve streaked across the football field in your underwear. You’ve bolted across the school’s front lawn in a towel. No bully has ever caught the Wendellizer…because you can run like the wind!’
Huh. Sounds like we may have to change your name when this is over. That was actually motivating.
‘But if you don’t make it and get eaten,’ Doubt added,’ just remember, this was your choice to run, not mine.’
An echo of laughter erupted from the blackness behind me. “It thinks it can escape, does it?” Sounds of oversized feet flap-flapping bounced off the surrounding stone.
There was a soft BAMPH...then another BAMPH followed.
I spun around to focus on the softer version of the portal explosions. These sounded more like wheezing noises, when an old person or asthmatic was out of breath. Trouble was, they sounded like they came from…everywhere at once.
I froze, ears perked like an animal. No sound of breathing, grumbling, or oversized feet in motion. Only a hint of a cigar in the air. That’s all I needed. One by one, I dashed to the safety of the next stone pillar and pressed my back against them for protection.
Five.
“Look at it, flee,” Dax said, to my right. BAMPH!
Four.
“Will it scream?” He laughed, this time to my left. BAMPH!
I took a quick breath and pushed on. Keeping my head low, I pivoted on the ball of my foot and…
“Boo!” Blue eyes and yellow fangs, accompanied by two monstrous hands in claw-like positions, jumped out from behind MY pillar!
“YEEEARGH!!” I screamed.
…and slapped Dax squarely across the face.
We both stood there, wide-eyed stares locked in silent shock.
All the worst horror movies I’d ever seen flashed through my mind in one continuous panorama of terror, dismemberment, and gore.
My body trembled as vivid images of Dax, hunched in a corner, burped loudly as he tossed one of my leg bones over his shoulder. He then turned towards the camera of my mind. He grinned, making slurping noises from sucking the gooey remains from his fingers.
Sweat beading on my brow, as I forced out a weak smile of apology.
Dax lowered his gaze and slowly opened and closed his mouth, shifting his jaw between a thumb and index finger. His head leaned from one shoulder to the other, his neck making small popping sounds. When he finally looked up at me, I just about wet myself.
Dax’s brows rolled forward like two great fists clenching together. Tiny chiseled nostrils flared wide as thick lips curled back into a fierce snarl, displaying those sharp, flesh rending teeth.
“I’m so sor…,” I squeaked, but he kicked my legs out from under me, sending my delicate frame crashing to the stone floor. He lunged, landing squarely on my chest, hands gripping my shirt. The motion was so fast and abrupt, my head whipped back and thumped against the floor.
I coughed, unable to breathe.
The last thing I saw was that giant maw, filled with sharp teeth, open wide to consume my flesh, leaning towards my face. So I did what any teenage guy would do when faced with this life-threatening situation.
I screamed.
Not like the redheads from B-rated movies trying to be heard. Oh no. My scream was a whole new level, trying to get the attention of the universe. This was a sound to shatter glass, make the dog flee in terror, and serial killers guffaw in glee.
BAMPH!
Without warning, a bright light engulfed me as the veil between heaven and wherever this was torn apart. My spirit loosed from my body in those last moments of life, blood pouring from the missing sections of my throat and face. I could hear the echo of my scream fading to silence as my body spasmed on the floor. I gurgled and drowned in my blood, creating a growing pool of sticky red beneath me.
‘Idiot.’
I probed my face with both hands. Fingers traced the flesh from forehead to chin, ears to nose. Other than losing one bandage from a facial cut, I was still whole. I popped open an eye.
My captor was standing over me, arms folded, shaking his head with an expression I’d seen far too many times on both bullies and adults.
You…are a moron.
“How many times have I asked you not to teleport into my personal office?” There was a sigh, and the sound of paper being gathered haphazardly. “This will take ages to sort out…again. You should have left to retrieve the hero by now.”
Dax chuckled softly to himself, then looked down at me. “Already back. Kid’s right here.” Then he leaned down, grabbed me by the shoulders…and promptly head-butted me in the nose.
“Ow!”
“Now we’re even,” he said, his grin a bit too wide.
Dax pulled me to my feet and spun me around. My hands went to my face, trying to catch the blood gushing from my nose. Blinking the water from my eyes, what I saw next came as a complete distraction.
The guy was…blue. That was the first thing that jumped out at me. I mean, he looked like any other grandpa you’d find in the neighborhood. Decent shape, thin on top, salted beard and eyes surrounded with laugh lines. That’s where the similarities stop, though.
He was blue. Skin, eyes, fingernails…like a sky blue first thing in the morning. Deep and solid. He was also wearing a thick robe with a heavy hood hanging down the back. It was a deep golden color, with black symbols and designs around the edges of the robe. Sleeves, hood, and down the ‘V’ neckline. A woven black cord served as a belt. The entire outfit made his skin really pop.
This room was circular, mostly stone, with thick beams of dark wood criss-crossing overhead. Narrow stain-glass windows stood out starkly against the stone, no light behind them to give their beauty. Intricate bookshelves hugged the walls intermittently. Bookshelves stuffed to overflowing in a sea of information. In fact, books, scrolls, maps, and paintings adorned the walls of this entire room. Curious looking furniture pieces, all resembling animals of some kind, gathered in small circles about the floor, while giant tapestries loomed over it all. They had to be at least twenty feet tall, those woven tapestries, some people posing, others presenting dramatic scenes. Wars, peace talks, the crowning of a king, and centered behind the High Elders’ desk, blue men in robes knelt before a guy with light bursting from his chest. Under that tapestry were two doorways revealing stairs. One leading up, the other one down.
“Delnar, this is Wendell,” Dax said casually. He gave me a solid nudge that caused me to stumble towards the giant desk. The giant desk was also covered in papers, books, and gadgets that you might imagine from a museum. Not a museum I’ve been to, but everything here looked ancient.
“Wendell, this is Delnar, High Elder of the Iskari High Council.”
“Goodness,” said Delnar. “I asked you to retrieve the hero, Dax, not break him!”
Dax shrugged. “He fell.” Then he looked at me and grinned. “He does that a lot.”
‘Jerk,’ mumbled Doubt.
Agreed.
Dropping the papers he held, Delnar pushed through the collections on his desk and located a white handkerchief. He rushed around the desk and handed it to me. “I’m so sor….are you alright young man?”
“Alright?” I said.
“That is what I asked, yes.”
Wiping my face, I adjusted the soft cloth and pinched my nose. "A green midget in boxer shorts kidnapped me, roughed me up, and then threw me into a black hole. I’m brought to who knows where, chased and terrified in the dark, then head-butted,” I shot Dax a scowl, “ “and you stand there looking bewildered. Why would I be alright?”
Delnar leaned back against the desk and frowned. “If you put it that way…”
“Put it that way?” I snapped. “It’s what happened!”
“Really Daxänu, did you have to rough him up? I asked you to ‘invite’ him. His agency is important, you know that.”
Dax shot me his own scowl, then fixated on the High Elder. “First off, don’t call me that. Second, he didn’t wanna come. When you ‘asked’ me to ‘invite’ him, I took that as you giving me MY agency to fulfill this task as I saw fit. You wanted I should have left him on that backwater planet?”
Delnar considered, then shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Then what’s the problem? You sent me to get him, and I got him.”
“And?”
Looking between them, I could tell something else was being said without words.
“And nothin’,” Dax spat out. “I wasn’t there more than a few minutes to be tracked.”
“Where is the star ruby?”
Dax glared at me, then shrugged. “Shorted out on entry. Had to get back on my own juice.”
Delnar frowned. “You didn’t bring it back with you? If anyone were to find that, it…”
“I threw it down a deep ravine, alright? Shattered to dust. No one’s gonna find it — and even if they did — no one on that planet would have the faintest idea what to do with it.”
For a long moment, Delnar studied Dax. In the end, he simply nodded. “Alright,” he said. “Then it’s time we get this young man adjusted to his inheritance as quickly as possible.”
“Inheritance?” I said. I unpinched my nose and tested the blood flow. “Who ARE you people?”
Delnar met my gaze with a soft smile. “We are the keepers of the Ithari, and your counselors. Myself and my brethren are at your service, Lord Wendell.”
Surprisingly, the way he looked at me didn’t feel creepy at all. My gut didn’t churn in knots, and I didn’t have the slightest inclination to flee from Delnar’s presence. There was a light behind those blue eyes, and a secret behind that smile. In that moment, I knew this blue guy knew more about me than I wanted him to.
Something in me wanted to leave with Dax.
“It is time to present you with your inheritance,” Delnar said. “Please follow me.”
I blinked, my mind and senses coming back to me. “Inheritance? I’m not going anywhere with you.” I backed away from both of them to stand close to one of the bookshelves. Using books as projectiles wasn’t the best idea, but it was better than nothing. “I’m assuming you’re the ‘boss’ Dax was talking about?”
Delnar frowned.
“He is,” said Dax.
“So you sent a cannibalistic messenger to kidnap me from my home, away from all I know, and now you want me to follow you to who-knows-where? Hello…stranger danger!“
Delnar looked to Dax. “Cannibalistic?”
“He ate Jeffrey,” I said, jabbing my index finger in his direction. “I mean, he eliminated my competition, but…that doesn’t make it right.”
Dax folded his arms and shook his head casually. “Never happened.”
“You TOLD me you ate him. Then you threatened to eat me, if I didn’t comply,” I said.
Again, Dax shook his head. “You hit your head, kid. I had to untangle you from a pile of chairs. Remember?”
“Yeah, but…” I said.
“I didn’t eat anyone. I’ve eaten no one. I never would have eaten you.” He looked at Delnar and raised his right hand. “Not even a nibble.”
“You lied to me,” I said.
That calm, clever smile crawled across Dax’s face. “I’ve never owned a mirror.”
I scowled at him, but he just grinned back.
“Are we done?” Dax asked.
“Yes,” said Delnar.
“Accounts balanced?”
Delnar nodded.
“Good,” said Dax, “Cause I need a drink. After dealing with that one, I’m gonna need the entire bottle.” He turned and gave me a mocking bow. “Good luck with the new job,…my lord.”
Delnar threw up both hands. “Don’t…”
BAMPH!
The shockwave created an instant mini tornado. Papers and scrolls exploded from the desk and bookshelves, flying about the room. Tapestries waved from the walls, hanging portraits banged in defiance, while anything leaning precariously against a wall fell over. My new blue host let his head drop forward with a deep sigh of frustration.
“…port.”
Stooping down, he collected tattered papers, shuffling them halfheartedly. “I apologize, my lord Wendell,” he said, stooping to collect more papers behind his desk. “Dax is…complicated. Rough. Crude. Irreverent, yes, but exceedingly loyal and protective.”
“I’m sure he’s a real gem,” I said. I pulled the bloodied cloth from my now dry nose. This dream was taking me down a rabbit hole I didn’t understand. Dax clearly represented every bully that ever kicked my butt. I got that. This blue guy, though, didn’t remind me of anyone I knew.
Delnar created several haphazard stacks on his desk. He stopped cleaning when he noticed I was still huddled against the bookshelf. “I realize this must be disconcerting to you. The sudden change in your surroundings, exposure to individuals you don’t know.” He leaned against the desk, slipping both hands into the sleeves of his robe. “Perhaps ‘unsettling’ would be a better word to use.”
“Oh, it definitely would.” I said.
“Then allow me to answer any questions to soothe those concerns. Please, ask. I am here as your servant.”
He didn’t return to picking up papers. Instead, he stood there, leaning against the desk, waiting. Maybe it should have been uncomfortable, or odd, having some stranger standing there, staring at you. Even more weird that I stared right back and I had no problem doing so.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I said.
Scooping up several scrolls, Delnar grinned. “Excellent! Then, we can proceed and have our discussion after we conclude this matter. If you will follow…”
“That’s NOT what I mean,” I snapped. “I mean that I have so many questions. I’m not sure which one I should ask first.”
Plopping the scrolls onto his desk, Delnar nodded. “I see. Then perhaps you should ask a question to solve what troubles you most?”
Huh. That wasn’t such a bad idea. “Okay. Why, exactly, was I kidnapped from home and brought here?” I said.
“Because you belong here, with us. This is, in fact, your home. You were not born on Earth.”
“But I’m not blue,” I said.
“Nor would you be. You are not Iskari.”
“But you’re…blue,” I said.
“I am, and those from Earth are brown, black, white, and yellow. Is that not so? You are human.”
“Humans are from Earth,” I said.
“Humans are from Humär, a continent on the planet below.
“Below?”
Delnar smiled. “I misspoke before, my lord. When I said you belong ‘here’, I meant the planet below. You currently stand upon one moon above Elämä, which is the world of your birth.”
I held up a hand. “Wait. Then how did I get to Earth? Why would I end up there if I were actually born here?”
Delnar nodded. “I can understand how strange this must sound. It was for your protection, my lord.”
“Please,” I said. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what, my lord.”
“Don’t call me ‘my lord’,” I said. “It really bothers me. Just, call me Wendell.”
“But that would be…improper.”
“According to who?” I asked. “You said you’re here to serve me, is that right?”
“That is correct.”
“Which means helping me adjust to life here?” I said.
“Correct.”
“Well, I only know of one Lord, and I’m certainly not him. So stop. I’m asking you, as…the guy you’re supposed to help, just call me ‘Wendell’.” Delnar visually looked uncomfortable with my suggestion. That gave me a tinge of pleasure, but I didn’t want to complicate things. So I tried another tactic. “Delnar, please. If this…whatever this is…is going to work, I’m guessing we both have to do some uncomfortable things. All I’m asking of you is to call me ‘Wendell’ like my friends do. It’ll help me adjust.”
That got him. His face perked up.
“Friends?”
“I really could use a friend,” I said. "Someone has just snatched me from the only life I know," I said. “This isn’t just confusing, it’s outright scary. Everything I’m experiencing is completely new and out of my ‘ordinary’. How am I supposed to know who I can trust?”
Delnar gave me a small, respectful bow, just a couple of inches at the waist. “Then I would consider it an honor to be your ‘friend’, lor—” but he stopped himself. He nodded his head. “Wendell.”
Gotcha. I took a few steps from the bookcase and into the new realm of the blueberry of my dreams.
Oh, that sounded…off.
Scratch that.
“Thank you, Delnar. Now maybe you can clarify why, if I was born here, would I end up on Earth?” I asked.
From the contortions on his face, you could tell he was trying to pick his words carefully. Surprisingly, he spun around and pulled out a large scroll from between the piles of papers. He unrolled the parchment and showed me a world map, draping it across the desk. “During the War of Shadow, many prominent people, those with power and influence, died.” he motioned to enormous areas of land, then tapped on several continents. “Your family had considerable influence. Your father was councilor and friend to many kings and rulers of various races across our world.” He tapped an area that was covered in hatch marks, blackening it in. “That gained the attention and wrath of the enemy. Your father's royal guard took you in secret and hid you, ensuring your protection. They did this to ensure that your family's mortal enemy, Mahan, couldn't reach you.
I had to admit; the story had my attention. It wasn’t often I had dreams about being somebody special. Being from a royal line was new. It sounded cool. Sounded like a comic book.
“But this is you we’re talking about,” Doubt chimed in. “So it’s not real. None of this is real.”
Shut up.
“You know how I know it’s not real? Because YOU’RE involved, that’s how.“
SHUT UP. Yeah, I get this is a dream. Alright? Just let me have this experience, would you? What’s wrong with having a little fun?
“Because something bad is going to happen. You know what? Fine. Whatever. I’ve got plenty of important things to do instead of watching you fall on your face. Like…taking a nap. Just remember, I warned you.“
I swear I heard a door slamming in the back of my mind. Doubt must have been seriously ticked off.
“Wendell?”
“What?” I said.
Delnar had stepped around the desk and was making for a doorway. “If you will follow, I will show you,” he said, and motioned to the doorways. “Your birthright. The greatest treasure of our world. It belongs to your family.”
I snorted. “The only thing that’s belonged to my family is pain, loss, and medical bills.” But I shook my head. “I really think you’ve got the wrong guy.”
“Please.” Returning to my side, the High Elder guided me towards the two sets of stairs. “As I said before, the world you come from is called Elämä. In the ancient tongue, it means ‘life’. A vibrant and beautiful world filled with wonder, but also great conflict. You are the last son of a specific noble family. The people have revered as mighty heroes the men of your bloodline since the ancient days.”
“Yeah,” I shook my head, “you’re just proving my point. That’s not me. Noble? Mighty?” I held out my thin arms and did a little ballerina spin. “You need me to help you find your glasses or mow your lawn? Look at me. Do I look like a…,” but my words faltered. “I mean, that would be…” I sighed. Suddenly it all made Dax, being kidnapped, and all this hero talk, sound pretty good.
I’d been desperate for so long to just be someone…anyone…and now it was happening? Sure, it was a lucid dream. A pretty cool dream, if I was being honest, generated by my imagination. Why not enjoy it? Why not learn from it and see what I could apply when I woke up? Our minds don’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. What skills and knowledge could I pick up while I was here?
Why not accept whatever happens next and ride this rocket as far as it’ll take me? My body is likely sprawled on the lounge chair in Evan’s backyard. Head rolled back, face baking in the sun, snoring by the pool. I’m going to be beat-faced when Christie shows up tonight. Dang it.
“Is there a problem, Wendell?” Delnar asked.
“What?” I said.
“I mentioned your family being noble and mighty, honored by the people, and you seemed to take offense at the remark,” he said. “Your chest rumbled loud.”
“Oh that? No. Sorry. I was thinking about a girl I was looking forward to seeing tonight. This whole kidnap-thingy is going to affect it.”
The High Elder looked genuinely sad. “I truly am sorry about that. This will affect every aspect of your life, I’m afraid. You’ll have to build new relationships, learn new customs and cultures. On the brighter side, once you accept the gift, you will take your rightful place in our world. It comes with responsibilities to help others, but even greater connections and privileges. Your inheritance gives you considerable power.”
That sounded pretty good. Rise above the ridicule and to be someone important? To finally receive recognition? To matter? I mean, helping people was the important part, of course, but…wait. Did he say I get power? Did that mean my family had money? Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh.
I scratched my cheek to make sure I wasn’t grinning too wide.
Wealth was not something I usually dreamed about. I wished I had, but I didn’t. Money could buy you things. Silly, useless, often pointless things, but things you might want. Things like clothes, toys, cars.
…Supermodel Girlfriends.
“Why not,” I said. “If I come from a family of influence, maybe I should l at least consider getting into the family business. Lead the way, High Elder.”
Surprised, Delnar flashed me pearly white teeth in a broad smile. He looked like a fly fisherman who just got the catch of the day. “Wonderful, my lor —,” he caught himself again. “Wendell. Right this way.”
Of the two doorways, he chose the one with stairs leading down. The moment we stepped through the arch, torches flared along the wall. I flinched.
“Careful, my young friend,” said Delnar, quickly grabbing my arm. “This is not a place to fall.”
He wasn’t kidding. A black iron railing was the only barrier between us and plummeting into the darkness below. Hip height, the railing swirled and wrapped around itself. Small decorative leaves connected to vines which looked like they’d grown up out of the stone itself. There had to be a thousand steps wrapping the inside of this tower. Each one was wide enough to allow three men side by side. Roughly two feet deep, and eight inches high.
Taking a timid look over the railing, I gulped. “Thanks for that.”
He nodded, placed his hands back into the sleeves of his robe, then descended at a smooth, even pace. Each step echoed the scuff of his sandals against the stone. The lower we went, the next torch would call out with a flare of light, while its distant cousin above us blinked out. A bubble of light soon surrounded us in a throat of darkness.
“So why are we descending into the creepy dark tower?” I asked. The sheer vastness of my imagination was…impressive. What didn’t seem to fit was how warm it was? You’d think with all the stone, the open areas, and no visual sources of heat, that this place would be cold. But it wasn’t.
“This tower and the chamber connected to her underbelly are the ‘Key’. We are traveling to her belly. That is where they have hidden your inheritance and birthright," he said.
“All this for a title and a bit of coin? You must have some serious thieves around here,” I said.
“This has nothing to do with coin,” he replied. “Thieves would never attempt to take that which we covenanted to protect and deliver to you.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “They would never survive our defenses.”
“Why all the precautions?” I said. But that wasn’t the right question. It wasn’t the one scratching at the back of my mind.
Delnar glanced at me over his shoulder. “Yet that is not the question that causes you to hesitate.”
“Why does everyone keep talking about running out of time?” I said. “I’m here now. I’m listening, accompanying you. What’s with all the rushing?
He turned in mid motion, becoming an impassible blue wall. The sudden stop caught me off guard and I stumbled. Both hands shot to the railing and clenched it tight. I held my breath as I pushed myself back against the wall.
Scared me so badly, I felt my butt pucker.
“Because, young Wendell, your enemies seek to kill you.”
“Me?” I said. “But I don’t even live here. Why would anyone want to KILL me?” Suddenly, I wasn’t too keen on being alone, in the dark, with the blueberry, taking about ending my life.
“We protect the oldest magical artifact of our world,” he said. “The enemies of your family…of our world, would do anything to get it.” His eyes studied me. “Because it also is your greatest protection. Once accepted, there is no single force in this world that can harm you.”
I stood straight and cleared my throat. “Right. My, uh…family would be very grateful for your attention to detail and devotion to guarding our treasure.” I made a waving motion with a hand. “No time to waste. Gotta get to the protection. Chop. Chop.”
Delnar’s lips pulled back into a mild grin, which made his eyes smile. When we reached the bottom of the Key, I looked behind us at the two billion and four steps we’d just descended. Looking up, the open doorway cast a soft glow upon the stairs. You couldn’t see the complete set of steps, but the edge of the railing. The circular line, combined with the light of the open archway, looks like a black eye, staring down at me. I think the fact that I had made it down all those steps surprised me. Dream or not, I hoped this Iskari Council had an elevator stashed somewhere in the Key.
The moment my sneaker left the last step, every torch blinked out.
“Woah. What’s…” I said nervously.
“Shhh,” Delnar whispered. “Be silent and follow me.” And with that, a faint blue glow emanated from a freaking staff he pulled out of who-the-crap-knows-where. Its soft light hugged the narrowing walls, smooth stone curved inward like running water, towards a single, narrow tunnel. And that’s when I heard it.
Snoring.
I’m not talking like my dad when he’s had a long day at work snoring. This was low, bottom-basement deep, vibrations resonating through the stone beneath our feet as we crept towards that dark opening. I would have run away, but A) this was just a dream anyway, and B) the High Elder didn’t seem to be concerned. Now I’ve had plenty of creepy surprises in my dreams. Things that gave me shivers. Things that gave me nightmares for weeks in a row. I’ve even had things so intense I had to wash my bedsheets the moment I woke up. That being said, I was overly curious to see what could make such a noise. So, of course, I did what any teenage boy would do when he knew there was absolutely no chance of being actually harmed.
I followed.
Upon approaching, it became clear that this was the origin of the warmth. The air rose in temperature and humidity. The tunnel was low enough for me to touch the ceiling with the very tip of my fingers. Fuzzy moss bloomed from the cracks and seams of the stone, adding an earthy scent to the air.The High Elder handed me the staff.
“Hold that for a moment, would you?” he whispered.
“Sure,” I whispered back. The snoring was so loud now, I crept a few steps past Delnar to see where we’d arrived. Holding the staff over my head, I could only see a few feet from me. The blue light faded into a warm mist that saturated everything. “What’s making that snoring sound?” I finally asked.
A metal gate creaked and closed with a loud ‘CLANK’ behind me.
The blue light from the staff illuminated the smirk of the High Elder from between the bars between us.
“That would be the dragon.”
You know what… I want to play Druids and Drunkards now.
Ooh eek