The Not-So-Great-Escape
âWhatâre ya DOING, kid??!â he yelled. âMOVE YER BUTT!!â Alhannah shoved me forward, just as the scouts crossed the dragonâs path.
When the Gem awakens to call a Hero, the world is ill prepared...and its fate is placed in the hands of a 17 year old boy, named Wendell.Â
Some will say this is nothing but a tale of fiction.
Let them think as they may.Â
After all...I can't fix stupid.
Previously: Wendell meets the girl of his dreamsâŚand then defends her in a bar fight. When it doesnât go as planned, Wendell is rescued by a cute female gnome with pigtails.
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I donât believe most parents realize that nerds (a.k.a. their unprotected offspring) are hunted for sport in school. Tormented and tortured once responsible adults (those would be teachers in some situations) were out of earshot. There were shop teachers in my school who used to make bets on how long before I was knocked to the ground, or ran for help.
Seriously, itâs a thing.
I learned a valuable lesson as a nerd, being picked on by the more aggressive teens of the school. When youâre on the run, you donât have to be the fastest.
âŚjust faster than the last guy.
This, however, wasnât high school.
The popping noises resounded through my head as the bones of my jaw and neck realigned.
UNGH!
Each pop brought a sigh of relief. The pounding throb in my head subsided, and my vision finally came into focus. Dax hastily pulled me through the front door of the Roadkill Tavern, Alhannah, and the wizard close at our heels.
âWhy are we running?â I asked, pulling from Daxâs grip. I glanced back at the wizard, who wore a frantic expression. âWhatâs going on?â
âRight,â Chuck sighed, âmicrowave version.â He ushered me forward, guiding us between buildings. He looked left and right, over his shoulder and even up at the cave ceiling. âI brushed you aside to hide your identity from Istul,â he started rapidly. âIâm sorry, my boy. Truly. Thuleâs not here, but his henchmen are.â
I picked up my pace, following Chuck without having to be prompted.
âThose vallen soldiers â scouts, sitting in the tavern, saw what you just did â then left without a word. That doesnât bode well for us.â He flipped around suddenly and shook me by my shoulders. âEven though Iâm SO proud of what I saw back there!â He quickly looked me up and down. âAny open wounds, missing fingers or toes?â
âIâm goodâŚâ I started, trying to put the pieces together.
âYa got yerself noticed,â grumbled Dax. Peeking around a corner, he waved us forward.
ââŚand that means?â I asked.
âWere screwed.â Dax threw himself against a wall, each of us following his example. âIf weâre lucky,â he whispered, âwe can get out of here before they catch us and weâll deny it ever happened.â
âRight,â I sighed. We came here for clothes and some books â we got those â time to leave. I was good with that. Then it hit me. âWhat happened to the girl?â I said. "I didnât see her in all the commotion."
âSorry, son,â Chuck frowned, âshe ran as soon as her feet hit the floor.â
Tha-THUMP-Thump.
"She MISSED it?" I choked. "I nearly get KILLED, and she MISSED it!?"
A large, crinkly old hand slapped firmly over my mouth.
"SHH!" Chuck hissed.
Right. Of course not. THE most beautiful girl in the world had crossed my path, a girl shown to me in an actual dream, and I was willing to be mangled to protect her. Why would she see the sacrifice? What was I thinking? Even the smiley face rolled its eyes, giving a muted sigh. But that wasnât the most important question in my mind.
Who was she?
There had to be some way of finding out her name. To find out who she was.
Alhannah kept pace, guarding our backs. âQuestion,â she said, just a bit too loud.Â
Dax skidded to a halt, looking back in a near panic. âWhat?â
She jabbed a thumb in my direction. âWhoâs the kid?â
Kid? A china doll with sushi knives is calling me a kid? The smiley face laughed.
âIâm sorry, my dear,â said Chuck, ruffled. âAlhannah Luckyfeller, Wendell DipmierâŚWendell, Alhannah. Right, we good now? Come on!â
Dax stopped behind a wall as Sentry passed by. âHeâs the Gnolaum, âHannah.âÂ
She shook her head, red pig-tails bouncing like sheâd been slapped. âIâm sorry â run that by me again? Heâs the Gnolaum,âŚas inâŚ?â Looking me up and down, she stifled a laugh.Â
âSort of,â Chuck whispered.
âThatâs like kinda-pregnant. He isâŚor heâs not.â
âHe is,â replied Chuck and Dax simultaneously.
âYou two been sniffing book adhesive?â
The wizardâs brows rolled forward disapprovingly, and the gnome gulped.
âSorry,â she apologized. âYouâre serious?â
Dax looked at Alhannah and scowled. âDeadly.â
She took a few moments to look me up and down more closely, doing a double take when the smiley face winked at her. The whole thing made me a tad nervous. Her father knew who I was. Now both of my guardians had revealed something to this miniature girl. What was a âgnolaumâ?
On the other hand, no one actually knew who I wasâŚas in being the wrong guy for this job. As far as anyone was concerned, there was a glitch in their understanding of how to use the gem. I remained the chosen one, and we were all working together to figure out how to get me the powers to defeat evil. Since I wasnât raised here, it was natural for me to lack all understanding. Which was convenient, because, well,âŚI lacked all understanding. Iâd have to be taught, which gave me time to adjust to my deception.
Done with her inspection of me, her eyebrows crinkled. âWell, thatâs disappointing.â
I gasped and opened his mouth to retort, but was shoved into an alleyway. Another set of Sentry quickly jogged towards the Tavern â led by Lucian.
Chuck pulled off his hat and dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief. âThat man is just aching to find a reason to put our heads on the chopping block!â
The crowds were thickening the closer we got to the exit. Dax kept us in the shadows as much as possible, but weâd run out of buildings to hide behind. It was all open area from this point forward. The Exchange and its holding pens were all that stood between the partyâŚand freedom.
I fidgeted.
âWeâre gonna get caught, Chuck,â Dax whispered. âLet me port us out of here. We donât need the blasted key.â
âNo!â Chuck snapped. âYou have to be strong enough to get us to Humär. Time is of the essence, my boy.â He smiled reassuringly, âWeâre almost there. We can do this.â He winked at me and Alhannah. âReady?â
We nodded.
We waited for a large group to pass, then, slipping around the corner, blended in. We walked casually, with the patrons leaving the market. The chatter was loud and energetic. Women gabbed and compared fabrics and jewelry theyâd purchased. Chuck fell in behind their downtrodden and utterly broke male counterparts.Â
Dax stopped abruptly, nearly tripping us. âFairy-farts!â he whispered, pointing ahead.âThey know!â
Sure enough, standing on either side of the exit wall, two vallen scouts stood erect, watching the paths and the flow of patrons leaving the Black Market. Dax started shoving me and Chuck in the opposite direction when one of them took notice. Both giants pushed off the wall without a word, walking briskly towards us.
âMove it!â hissed Alhannah. Flipping the straps off her swords, she backed down the path, ready to fight.
âPlan B!â piped Chuck. With one swift motion, he hiked up the folds of his robe, pulling it to his kneesâŚand took off sprinting like a madman.
âWhat the..?!?â squeaked Dax, shoving me after him.
âTheyâre not running after us!â I huffed, looking over my shoulder.
Chuck made an abrupt left turn. âThatâs why!â he yelled, pointing ahead. Two more scouts appeared along a higher pathâŚand those were running! Patrons were shoved aside as they barreled towards us.
âWoOOOah!â I squawked, pouring on the speed. Within moments, Iâd pulled ahead, leaving Dax and Alhannah behind. âWhere are you going!?â I shouted after the wizard, who was trying hard not to trip on his robe.
âWorking on it,â Chuck called back, ââŚworking on it!â His sandals flapped loudly against the path as he hurdled a cart effortlessly like an olympian. He instantly smiled to himself. âThatâs a nice breezeâŚhave to do this more often!â
Through the market, we dashed and weaved. Dax and Alhannah played interference, knocking over displays and yanking down awnings to cover their tracks.
âLooks like weâll need to vanish for another six months,â she said with a giddy laugh.
Dax guffawed, knocking over an entire cart of baked goods. âI say we make it a year!â
Bolting through an alley, Chuck led us into what looked like the animal district. Hundreds of colorful birds in cages, and various small pets sat locked in cages, creating their own alleyways between them. Chuck and I slid behind a wall, out of view, to catch our breath. The old man Iâd had seen earlier with the yellow dragon was still there, now playing a flute, seated on a stool. Children sat, watching in awe as the beautiful beast swayed to the rhythm of the music. I dashed past them.
Dax and Alhannah slid around the corner, leaping over displays and knocking over several vendor carts. They charged down the street, the enemy in hot pursuit. Alhannah looked visually tired in her metal armor, and Dax had a firm grip on his shorts.
Tha-THUMP-Thump.
Tha-THUMP-Thump.
Theyâre going to get caught.
My heart pounding in fear.
A loud hiss arose above the music. The dragonâs head bobbed up and down to the movements of the vallen as they came into sight. When one roared, the lizard hissed, baring its teeth. The old man played on, ignoring the irritation of the chained beast.
I know you can hear me; I thought to myself.Â
The dragon stopped bobbing its head and looked directly at me. Upon eye contact, I stumbled backward, gaspingâŚsuffocating. My breathing became shallow, but I concentrated, looking for that connection Iâd felt earlier.
âIâm sorry I canât free you.â Again, the uncontrollable yearning to escape rose inside me. A longing to see the light of day, to feel the wind under the wings I didnât have. The urges were so powerful, I thought my heart might break.
âI need your help,â I said inside.
The round, emerald eyes stared right through me, unblinking.
âPlease,â I begged, âmy friends are in danger.â I let my worry and fear saturate those words. The dragonâs golden head tilted slightlyâŚand then nodded. I broke the connection as Alhannah stumbled and Dax had to knock over an armor rack to buy her time. He threw several shields at their pursuers. I pointed at the giants. âCan you stop them, even for a moment, to give us time?â
There was a long pauseâŚthen another nod.
âThank you.â I smiled silently. âIâll come back!â I turned and ran after the wizard, just as Dax caught up with me.
âWhatâre ya DOING, kid??!â he yelled. âMOVE YER BUTT!!â
Alhannah shoved me forward, just as the scouts crossed the dragonâs path.
Bearing her needle teeth, the lizard reared upon the shoulders of her master, spreading her mighty wings and producing an ear-piercing shriek.
Children, screaming, fled for their lives.
The giants fell back when her tail whipped forward and sliced through one of their cheeks from chin to ear.
The merchant cursed, forced to release the chain to free himself. He fled the street, wounds covering his torso.
Glimmering in the waning light of the cave, the dragon opened her mouthâŚand blew.
I saw the flash of green flame engulfed the scouts and set shop awnings ablaze as I rounded the corner. The smell of burning flesh quickly filled the cavern air, green light flaring over the rooftops.
âThank you!â I shouted in his mind, hoping the dragon would be able to hear me.
Chuck was immediately stalled, trying desperately to push through a sea of drunk gnomes. The crowd was chittering about gears, micro-processors and whether a barmaidâs girdle would make an effective hammock. They cheered as I ran up the path. Small hands patted me on arms and legs, congratulating me on a battle well fought against the reallybiguglyoneswithnastysharpteeth.
The wizard motioned frantically, finally resorting to tripping the little men with his staff to get them out of his way. Their tiny bodies rolled down and street, while others took odds on which ones would throw up first.
âCome on!â Chuck shouted above the cheering, âWeâre not clear yet!!â
A left, a right, another left, and they all skidded to a halt.
It was a dead end.
An alley with three doors.
Chuck quickly tried all three.
Locked.
âWhat are you DOING?!?â shouted Dax. âTheyâre right behind us!â
âYou and Alhannah cover the entrance,â he babbled, not looking back. âGive me just a second.â Then, yanking his hat from his head, Chuck plunged his arm in up to his shoulder.
Yanking out the leather bag he was carrying earlier, he tossed it at me. âDonât lose that,â he snapped. âSchoolwork.â
âHurry up!â warned Dax. âThe other two found their buddies.â His ears twitched. âI can hear patrons screamingâŚhere they come!â
There was a jingling noise in the hat, followed by a squeak and then shattering glass. Chuck pulled his arm out, shaking a soaked hand. He gazed inside, heartbroken. âAw, that snow globe was a collectorâs item.â
âCHUCK!â
âRight! Focus!!â Rummaging again, he pulled out an enormous set of keys. âAh-HAH!â he cried triumphantly. The ring was at least six inches in diameter, with dozens of odd-looking keys attached. Flipping his hat back onto his head, Chuck pointed to each of the doors methodically. âEeenie, meenie, minâŚâ
âCHUCK!!â screamed Dax.
âOh alRIGHT!!â he bellowed back. He looked at me, frustrated. âHeâs so impatient.â
âHeard that!â
Chuck mockingly imitated Dax in silence, selecting a door. âOf course you can hear meâŚyou have radar dishes for ears.â With deft precision, he flipped through the keys and tried each one in the door. On the seventh try, I heard a âclickâ.
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